Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Our son made me stop working on designing and making everyone's Christmas one night right before Christmas, when I was really on borrowed time as nearly all presents outside of our family of 3 were handmade, painted, beaded, etc. and time was short. He demanded incessantly that I stop making everyone else's Christmas present because he wanted to make me one. Every year, there is a defining moment, when Christmas arrives in my spirit. Christmas is my season. I don't need the decorations, but I love Christmas so very much that it is my time of the year to see the world as a child sees the world with wonder and delight and amazement and for many years, I have been collecting Christmas trees, I am nearly up to at least one, if not two trees, in every room, but not this year. That evening sitting by my son on the sofa, with my beading board, warming by the gas fireplace, and going through his various collections of beads with him and using some of Mommy's beads was the defining moment for 2008. I really didn't think I was going to have my annual Christmas moment this year as the year had been so hard and so traumatic and it was already 3 days before Christmas and my weary spirit had just not been moved by the season no matter how hard I wanted it to be, but from an unexpected moment from a source that should have been expected, my heart was touched, the ice was shattered, and for a moment the trauma of the year washed away. We sat there by the fire for well over 2 hours, maybe 3 hours, til way past his bedtime, while he went through all the beads to hand select each individual one, with some only being a milimeter in length, and I crimped an end of a strand of beading wire for him so that he could string up a necklace for his Mommy. I can tell you that his eye for design is already formed and that his symmetry is right on, but I'm not for even though it is those things, that really isn't the point, what I am going to tell you is that this little necklace is my favorite because it reminds me of the gift my son gave me that he is too young to understand - he gave me Christmas 2008. It was in those moments sitting by my son for those few hours that God sent me a message that He was with me and holding me in the palm of his hand.

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